Thursday 2 April 2009

Who Is Ron Searly?



ALL THINGS EXIST in spacetime, including Mr. Searly. He's on someone's paper round, someone's Christmas Card List. A Ron Searly is registered at the Jonestown library. A car registered to a Ron Searly was photographed by a traffic safety camera as it ran a red light on some Main St. in Massachusetts (it is unknown as to whether Mr. Searly was present in the car at the time). A Ron Searly paid the cheque for a birthday lunch enjoyed by three unknown white females at a Steak-n-Cake in Reno. He never said a word - they only discovered his deed when they asked the mousey waitress for the cheque. A Ron Searley collected $18.71 winnings from a bookmakers in Brooklyn for a bet he placed on a dodgers game, April 27th 1998. A Ron Searley was there when Beefheart formed his first band. He is reported to have told the captain 'don't do it that way - there's no coming back'.

Note from an interested party:
Find the tokens for Saturday bowling sessions with the mysterious ‘jimmy’. Find the empty tins of dogfood in his long island beach pad, with no other signs of pet ownership. Recount the strange notes found scribbled in his phone directory on the page of a certain Xavier Rheiner, coworker in the Bentley Cane Refinery, Florida.I want the FULL STORY of this guy…


My sources tell me: A Ron Searly has $3.51 of outstanding fines on his account at the North Carolina State Library and two overdue books - one on alternate food sources and an almanac of sewing techniques. Archival clippings from an April edition of the 1982 Pennsylvania Herald confirm that a teenage Ron Searley won second prize in the town's annual poetry contest, coming second to an R. J. Beasley, with poems titled 'Octopiithagoas' and 'From the Sun' respectively. Clippings from an edition of the Milwaukee Tribune, dated September of the same year, indicate that a Ronald Searley was cautioned after being found in a parking lot standing next to a bin fire with ash-tipped fingers and ashen face. He claimed it was like that when he found it. Without witnesses, the prosecution could not proceed with the case and all charges were later dropped. There is a bungalow in a southwestern suburb of Boston, the deeds of which bear the name 'Ron Searly'. No-one has ever seen anyone enter or leave the building, but delivery trucks are observed arriving regularly, sawing and hammering are often heard punctuating the afternoon calm, and the silhouette of a man was seen pacing between the two largest trees in the back yard after dusk a couple of weeks back. Neighbours have been known to ask 'what's he building in there?'

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