You ask if it would be theft to eat a donut while moving upwards to counter the motion of it falling into your stomach. Einstein does indeed claim all motion to be relative. A discussion with Dr. Epstein at dinner the other night (only now do I notice the similarity to the name Einstein) illustrated this idea to me further. Only a person in freefall (moving at the same speed as gravity) is truly motionless against the backdrop of spacetime. So, eating the donut while falling from a great height would be the only way I know of eating someone else's donut with a clear conscience. Of course, this could prove medically disasterous unless the eater-with-conscience was equipped with some sort of parachute-easque apparatus to aid the fall. I'm not sure where stealing one of your MIT boys' donuts in an anti-grav chamber stands in respect to the law.
Your non-linear defense has merit but such laws only apply to a single viewpoint. In Borges' The House of Asterion, the number 14 is used to signify infinity. In a courtroom you have twelve jourors along with the prosecution and defense, which totals 14. Perhaps this number is of cosmic significance - the first integer above some sort of cosmic threshold. [one number beyond the unlucky 13, which is perhaps the tipping point. Thought of as unlucky in folklore but actually just unpredicatable, giving results which fall either side of this cosmic threshold.] So, maybe with 14 viewpoints, we actually have infinite viewpoints, thus non-linear may be inapplicable as evidence.
I do not know if this helps with the case.
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